Shown above are two relationships... one VERY PRIVATE and one VERY PUBLIC. B and Jay keep their situation on lock and don't discuss it with anyone and Kim takes advantage of any opportunity to talk about her relationship on her blog in the media, on the red carpet... you name it... For those of you don't know, Reggie and Kim are in the beginning of what appears will be a very public break up and needless to say, Jay and B are going STRONG...
I have to admit... I am more of a Kim than a Beyonce... I like to hold hands, I love taking pics and dancing together when I'm out.. I pretty much love being in love and it shows... but seeing the demise of all of these public relationships has made me think twice... Not to mention, I've experienced a public break-up first hand... When one of my BF's and I broke up, everyone knew and he started dating someone first and brought her out with him all the time... Boy was that hard! Maybe I should keep things on lock down and let the relationship speak for itself rather than me speak for my relationship...
Ladies? What are your thoughts... I'd love to hear your two cents..
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17 Women have something to say:
I hear you Shannae! When I am in love I want to shout it out, and let the world know. lol! But when the relationship ends, the last thing I want is everyone asking questions and bringing more attention to it. lol! So I would say now I am more private. Are your thoughts the same on putting pics up and updating relationship status on facebook?
Yes Ree Ree!! I actually think that facebook is a romantic relationship KILLER!
I've always keep my relationship status private to the outside world. Close friends and family would know. I've more of a Kim though then Beyonce for sure.
Ree Ree I don't think it's a good idea to update your relationship status on facebook, because everyone knows when it changes and then the questions start happening.
Thanks Shannae for posting!!
I wouldn't say hide your relationship, I just don't believe in putting it out there for the world. Or blogging about everything going on in your relationship. What goes on in a relationship is somewhat private, once it becomes public it gives room for others to join in with their opinions. The thing is everyone else is not part of the relationship so they really don't have the right to be in it. And we know how people love to hate, so when you give them room to join your relationship you also give them room to cause problems.
I'm going through the same thing right now and it's so hard. I was dating my ex for 4 years and EVERYBODY knew (kinda hard when you come from a small town and everybody knows everybody :s) and I didn't care because I love being in love and I don't care who knows it! We just broke up about 6 months ago and a month after we broke up I heard that he had a new GF. Now all I hear from everybody is s**t about his new girl. Whether its negative or positive, I don't need to hear it! It kills me to even think about it and when everybody treats me like a charity case it kills even more to the point where I don't even want to go out. I haven't seen them out in public yet (2 months after we broke up, I moved to Banff, Alberta for 2 1/2 months-still had ppl calling me about him and his new girl) but I just moved back so I'm bound to see them and I'm not looking forward to it :s So from now on, I intend on keeping my romantic relationships as private as I can!
Well, I think that a relationship should be kept more private than public. A lot of times people start dating somebody and they run and tell everyone about it. Then, you have all these "Nosy Nancy's" trying to get to know about the relationship you're in before the people in that relationship have gotten to know each other.
I think that it's cool to engage in a little PDA and ACKNOWLEDGE each other ("that's my gf, he's my bf"). After that it should stop, you shouldn't purposely put your business out there (constantly talking,blogging,posting pics,etc).
While I love this post and blog...Is it really fair to compare a private MARRIAGE to a public COUPLE though?
Great comments Ameena! Good point on your question about the comparison... But when If you think about it, Beyonce and Jay Z were like this when they were dating too... in fact, they have never really officially confirmed that they are married (even though we know that they are)...
How Bey and Jay dated before their nuptuals is a good example of a "private couple" IMO...
ladies do you agree??
Putting your business out there is never a good idea. You dont have to hide your relationship either, but the more private you are about it, most of the time the better it works.
i have a story for you: in my last relationship, we kept things pretty low key. we had a lot of mutual friends and people would see us out together and draw their own conclusions as to what was going on. that was fine with us, but we weren't volunteering any information.
three years later we break up but remain best friends so people continue to see us out together and naturally assume we are still a couple. fine. then he starts dating someone else and keeps that relationship even more of a secret. then he gets engaged to her. and when people got the wedding invites they were so confused because they thought he was marrying me and had no idea she even existed. so at their wedding (yes, i went) i got a lot of 'what HAPPENED?!? who IS she?!?' type of questions going on.
so now i'm not too sure whether keeping things low key was the right plan.
"I wouldn't say hide your relationship, I just don't believe in putting it out there for the world. Or blogging about everything going on in your relationship. What goes on in a relationship is somewhat private, once it becomes public it gives room for others to join in with their opinions. The thing is everyone else is not part of the relationship so they really don't have the right to be in it. And we know how people love to hate, so when you give them room to join your relationship you also give them room to cause problems."
... UMMM Monica said EXACLY What I was thinking... I'm not too public about my relationship and I learned not to be the hard way too
I'm really on the fence about this one. Lately I decided to keep my relationships and dating experiences private as I had my last one blow up in my face.
But then again I don't think you should deny who you are with or that you love each other.
CATCH 22
In my opinion, keeping your relationship private works out best.
You can still show PDA, but it's up to you on what people should know and what not to know.
Beyonce and Jay Z were always photographed together, but never once had the two talked about their relationship (or if they were in one!)at all in interviews etc. She only started opening up a bit about it after she was married. I actually admired the fact that she laid low about it for so long, epecially since she's always in the spotlight.
I've had a close friend who was in a relationship with someone that basically put it on blast on Facebook with pics and changing his stats. But whenever they got into a fight, the relationship status would change and so on....
People take notice of those things and would into your biz just to know the scoop and just put in their two cents whether good or bad. I'd say, just let ppl close to you know about the relationship and just have the others guessing. lol
Keep it on lock! No one should know your business unless you open up to them one on one. You maintain a level of dignity and pride. Even if people start to gossip and have rumours their is nothing to substanciate what being talked about because its between the both of you and actions definitely speak louder than words! Keep it Classy.
I totally agree with Ree_Ree. I've always been fairly private, but I used to discuss my relationship with some friends. After, it was so awful having them constantly badger me about it. Maybe they weren't badgering, but it seemed like it. Keeping it private is an investment in the future. It might feel good to be open while you're in it, but definitely not when anything goes wrong.
As for facebook, I think it's totally invasive and it damages relationships. I haven't been on in years.
i think keeping things quiet in a relationship definitely works out for both partners.
I am currently dating a guy (he's 22 and i am 20) and we have been going out since September. I am in college (thank god) college is not like high school where EVERYONE knows who is going out with who. My bf is currently not in school (but he soon will be) so right now everything is good. My family and close friends are the only people that know about it but at the same time, even though i have a close relationship with them does not mean that I am going to give them the 411 of every little thing that goes on.
My bf is pretty private, i asked him one day "does your friends know about me?," and he told me "I don't really tell my business like that," *whew* i was pretty relieved when he said that. Only his brothers and sisters know about it (except his parents because they don't talk much)
So, i'd say, only let people close to you know about it but you can still maintain personal issues between you and your partner.
i think keeping things quiet in a relationship definitely works out for both partners.
I am currently dating a guy (he's 22 and i am 20) and we have been going out since September. I am in college (thank god) college is not like high school where EVERYONE knows who is going out with who. My bf is currently not in school (but he soon will be) so right now everything is good. My family and close friends are the only people that know about it but at the same time, even though i have a close relationship with them does not mean that I am going to give them the 411 of every little thing that goes on.
My bf is pretty private, i asked him one day "does your friends know about me?," and he told me "I don't really tell my business like that," *whew* i was pretty relieved when he said that. Only his brothers and sisters know about it (except his parents because they don't talk much)
So, i'd say, only let people close to you know about it but you can still maintain personal issues between you and your partner.
I also going through the same thing right now and it's so hard. Anyway,will certainly visit your site more often now.
isey
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